Dear world,

We know this is a tough topic and we know it it very difficult to talk to us about pregnancy (or lack thereof).  We also know it is very hard to find a reason behind what we are going through.  This is why you probably shouldn’t try to tell us the reason or what we need to do about it.  It’s just bad form.

The Do Not’sCliche

  1. Any recommendation including the phrase, “procreation vacation” – Where do people come up with these words?  I know we can’t have a babymoon, so let’s just call our trips vacations.
  2. “It will happen when it’s meant to happen” – So all this crap we are going through right now is useless?  Prescriptions are just for the fun of it?  I guess we can just stop trying and wait for a stork.
  3. “These things all happen for a reason.” – Would you like to expand?  Is this somehow going to be better for the world that I do not reproduce.  I’ll be sure to return the favor and remind you of this line next time your going through troubles.
  4. “Just…”/”You should probably” – Trust me.  We read the blog, stay tuned with medical websites, and talk to specialists.  telling us what we need to do now is probably not the best idea.  Just one thing is not going to change everything in the way.
  5. “Maybe this is not God’s plan” – Hmmm.  Are you telling me to not put faith in God’s timing?  You might be right but I would probably shy away from determining God’s plans if I were you.
  6. “I heard adopting takes the pressure off and could help you get pregnant” – I heard cutting off your right hand makes you better at throwing the football with your left hand.  I also heard if you are allergic to cats you should get a dog and then you won’t be allergic to cats anymore.  Oh, I’m not making sense?
  7. “I know exactly how you feel” – Please don’t

The Do’s

  1. How are things going with trying to get pregnant/How are you?” – I love when my friends ask this simple question so that i can reveal what I want to reveal.  I can then drive the conversation depending on what kind of stage I am in.  They are asking about how the process is affecting me instead of just giving me their insight.
  2. I am really hoping/praying for you two – That is really all that i need.  It helps recognize that you know I am going through a tough time without trying to tell me what to do.
  3. This sucks – We have a winner.  This sucks.  I do not need it downplayed.  i do not need to analyze God’s plan.  This sucks and I can make it through this season.

Share your own – #infertilitytalk #badcliches

Credit to my twitter friends for the help: mdyesowitch . Crys24 . infertilesknow . TheWombWarrior . pollypanad

– Abram –